2 Dates on Valentine's Day

Okay, so the title makes you think, "Scandalous!" I had two dates with B, so there goes that tea. LOL.  B and I had an early dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant, Fiorillo's. If you ever make it to the Bay, you must get there for dinner.  As a girl who is part Sicilian, grew up knowing the joy of great Italian food, and is extremely picky about where she eats it, this restaurant is the real deal.  In my humble opinion, Italian food should be judged by the marinara sauce and the lasagna and both make you want to melt into your seat.  It's the best restaurant Italian food I've ever had. I'm going to stop there because I may have to stop writing to go get a to-go order. LOL.  

Swiftly moving on...so I know the "to do" thing was to go and see 50 shades, but the thought of standing in a long theater line for a seat right underneath the movie screen wasn't our idea of fun and we weren't really pressed to see it.  Let me know if it's worth seeing. We came home watched a movie ON DEMAND, instead.  We saw the movie, "Dear White People," which was an indie film that won a host of awards.  Don't let the title put you off, it's good. Then we decided to play miniature golf and go to an arcade.  The thought of wearing a tutu to play miniature just didn't sound comfortable, so I slipped on these leopard pants and added some jewelry. My Valentine's Day was so much fun and relaxed. I sometimes think  we can get caught up in the pressure to have this elaborate day planned, but just being together and doing the simple stuff can be fun too.  I cried real tears when B took 16 strokes to make it into one hole (of course this was after he clowned me for the 12 strokes I took before him).   Please note that I won our V-day putting competition. #bloop 

Style Notes: I didn't know what I was wearing on Valentine's Day with B until the last minute.  I had been looking around, but before I knew it Valentine's Day snuck up on me.  I just shopped my closet for items that I already had. Some of the items are unavailable because I've had them awhile, but I'll link to similar items at the bottom of the post.  Cool tidbit about the leather jacket is that it comes with a piece that zips on and off and allows for two looks...one that is cropped and one that has a peplum hem. 

Shop the Post by clicking the image below:

Just A Little Flair

Yep, don't call me out, I've been on an outfit hiatus.   Things have been a little crazy and I needed a moment just to stand and breath.  In addition, with it being between seasons, I didn't keep doing winter clothing, but it was a little too early for spring clothing.  I probably have a few winter looks left, but as soon as March hits I am moving on.  It's already a decent 60 degrees here in the Bay, but this day I was in San Francisco, and it's always chilly there.  Anywho, some of you saw me post this dress on Facebook. Please note that I usually post items that I am going to purchase on Facebook.  I guess you can kind of call it a pre-warning.  Also, know that I purchase my pieces before I tell you guys or your snatch them right from under me. It happened a couple of times, and I said never again. HA! 

Style Notes: I ADORE this dress.  Things you should know about ASOS Curve is that you want to check the size chart.  ASOS runs big to traditional plus sizing, but the size chart tells you that.  I ordered a 20 in this dress, and it still fit a little big in the bust, but I will say that I like the dress being bigger.  Even though, it's meant to be a body con, sizing up gives it a professional option. I wore this to a meeting and felt this to be totally appropriate....yes even with this boot'ay. Had it been tighter, I wouldn't have worn it.  To me, this is adorable  for day or night and was nicely priced.  I also purchased some of the wide width shoes from ASOS.  OMG, they are super cute, nicely priced, and they fit well.  Note that they do only go up to an 11, but is a solution for women looking for wide width shoes.  Also, the original jacket was from Talbots, but it sold out. 

Shop the Post Below by clicking on the item:

Photos by Lydia Hudgens

Ordering Online & Fitting Those Special Body Parts

When ordering online you should always note the Special things about you. This could be a variety of things,  large arms, large legs, a small waist, large bust, etc.  You'll want to ask yourself, "What body part is consistently hard to fit with my clothing."  This can easily impact what size you get. Below are some tips on ordering online and fitting those "special" body parts. 

Fluffy Arms - A huge one for a lot of people is the arms.  Your bust/waist falls into one size category, but your arms fall in a bigger size category.  I use a variety of hacks. When the jacket is lined, I take out the lining in the arms only, this usually frees up enough space.  If the jacket has stretch, I get the jacket to fit my bust/waist.  Finally, when the jacket is structured, I will get the jacket to fit my arms and have the bust/waist tailored to fit. I usually save tailoring for items that I feel like I'm going to keep and wear over and over. You can use these tips for button up shirts as well. 

Cute & Petite - My best advice is to learn how to hem your items.  When it comes to sewing, it's one of the easiest things to learn how to do.  You can do by hand or buy an inexpensive sewing machine.  Also, you'll want to check out the hem.  Some hems aren't finished, meaning that they aren't hemmed, but just cut, this means that you cut the hem yourself to your liking.  I've done this myself.  When cutting a hem you want to measure from the bottom of the skirt up and mark with chalk, then cut. Don't free hand it and make sure you have a nice pair of scissors.  Things that may be the perfect length for your body type are skater skirt hems and ankle pants.  They are usually cut shorter.  

Boota'y - I'm always having the watch for the length of my skirts.  For those of us with big butts,  having our skirts jacked up in the back is more annoying and could end up in an accidental flashing if we aren't careful.   Most details on an item will list how long an item is.  I usually like to purchase items that are 28 inches or more in length.  My favorite length is 30 inches, but most places don't give you that much length.  Things that are 25 or 26 inches in length are a no go for me.  With dresses, I'm looking for a dress 42 or 43 inches in length. Please note that I am also, 5'9.  You want to pay attention to the information that they put online.  This is one of the reasons I like to order from Indie designers, they will generally be good about taking my length requests since that is an easy fix. 

Boobalicious -These tips are from CeCe from PlusSizePrincess, who is more knowledgeable in this area.  She says she sizes up in tops, because her boobs may make the top too short. When going for the layering look, she will wear Dickies to reduce the volume on the bust area. With a button-up shirt, she wears a tank underneath. If you have that pulling issue with your button-up then you can opt to sew the area between the two buttons that is pulling. Finally, if an item has stretch, give it a try. Items with stretch tend to work out, says CeCe. CeCe recommends Talbots and Foxcroft for button up shirts for the busty.  I am going to second her Foxcroft recommendation.  I have noticed the arm, and bust room is great AND the items I have gotten don't stretch.  That speaks a lot for the fit. 

Thighs like What - These thighs can be hard to fit.  A lot of plus size clothing, especially pants, are made for apple/rectangle/inverted triangle shapes.  This means a larger waist allowance and clothing that accommodates slimmer hips and thighs.  For me, I will always buy that size that are going to work better for my thighs.  That means sizing up one or two sizes. I am also looking for belt loops for jeans because the waist is always going to be bigger for me.  High waisted items are usually a better fit as well.  I can get the smallness in the waist but have room for my thighs. Stretch in jeans is always a must.  I will also cut the lining out of pants for leg room.  

Other things to consider when ordering online

Check the Size Chart - There is usually a size chart provided by most retailers so that you can figure out your size.  You will need to know your measurements, so grab your nearest measuring tape to get you bust, waist, and hip measurement.  

Size Notes -  You'll also want to troubleshoot when you fall between sizes.  If my hip measurement has me fall within one size category, but my waist measurement has me fall into another, if the item doesn't  stretch I'll go with the larger size.  Now if the item does have stretch and I will go by my waist measurement, correlate the sizes on the size chart, and then size up one size.  I want to give my hips enough room, but also I don't want the waist to be super big.  It's not uncommon for me to get the waists tailored down.  

Know your fabrics - I wrote about this some time ago here.  That will give you a more in-depth look, but the biggest thing you need to know is whether or not an item has stretch or not.  When an item says 100% polyester, then it usually doesn't have any stretch, and you should use the size chart to know the exact measurements.  If an item has elastane (or a word ending with "tane,") or spandex, then it will have some stretch.  Stretch will give you give a little room for error with the sizing.  

The #AVAandVIV Lookbook

Shirt, Dress - Available March 1

Some of you have already seen these photos floating around, but here they are officially on the blog.  I can't tell you how proud I am of these photos. I don't consider myself to be a model, but I must say I did feel very "model-y" in these photos.  I felt very beautiful. Now, enough of that. LOL. I have great launch news on the #AVAandVIV collection at Target.  The first round of items will be available February 9th, which means today! The remaining items will launch through the next few months. I will link each item that is available today right below the picture.  You can also get a full view of what's available here. For those who are looking for some other pieces earlier, I will say that I have seen some of them in the store. Particularly, my striped maxi dress and Nicolette's striped dress are in my local Target, so check there for that.  

Style Notes: From what I've tried everything is pretty true to size.  The chambray pieces, which are on my list to get, are structured with no stretch, so note that.  My must have picks are the jumpsuit, striped tulip skirt, Gabi's palazzo pants & matching top, and the maxi dress. 

 Outfit 1:  Available March 1 | Outfit 2:  Black Top, Striped Tulip Skirt

Top | Pant - Available March 1

Outfit 1 - Cardi, Top, Skirt | Outfit 2 - Dress, Blazer

Dress - Available  March 1

Outfit 1: Top, Palazzo Pant both available 3/1 | Top - avail 4/5, Pants - 3/1

Thank you to Target for sponsoring this post, all opinions are my own. 

My Favorite Plus Size Budget Friendly Online Shops

Dress 1 | Dress 2 | Dress 3

The word "affordable" is something that is talked about a lot, especially on my social channels. I think it's important to note that affordable can mean something different to each person and their personal budget.  For me, I put clothing in the affordable category if it's $50 and under.  I will always be a hi-low shopper. Meaning that I mix low end pieces with higher end pieces, but you may want to know where I find my affordable or do my "low" shopping.  Low end shopping doesn't always mean that you are sacrificing quality either. I love to shop places where I can get higher end clothing that is marked down due to season changes.  Here are some of my go to places:

6pm.com - A sister site to Zappos, 6pm carries a lot of department store brands and items are priced high and low. You can find some great bargain with plus size clothing and shoes. Personally, I like to scoop up workout clothes from here. I also like to shop Rachel Pally here because it's usually marked down half or more. 

Hautelook - 3 words: SAMPLE SALE SITE - So this site will run a sample sale for about a week.  They list a variety of items, but they do a plus size sale every couple of months.  Sign up for the email notification, so you'll know when the plus sample sale is on it's way. I also buy a lot of home goods and beauty products here. 

Ideel - This used to be a sample sale site, but they turned into a regular shopping site. Find a lot of your favorite brands marked down, plus some brands you didn't know about.  I bought my patent leather skirt from my birthday look here. 

Nordstrom Rack - Y'all know I know Nordstrom, but I love Nordstrom Rack too.  I'm so glad they are online now.  I cruise this site for quality leggings, large size shoes, and marked down City Chic. 

SaksOffFifth - Last year I scored a $700 Marina Rinaldi jacket for $75 from this site. (As you can see, I'm still happy about this moment). SaksOffFifth deeply discounts a lot of the high end brands they carry in Saks.  One of the pricier of my "low" shopping, but this is a good place to get some of those special event cocktail dresses. 

Rebdolls - I've worn quite a few of their pieces. Great for party clothes and I see they are doing more casual everyday pieces.  They go up to a 4X and it isn't jr. sizing.

I've said this before, but can't stress it enough. When I am shopping, I never look to clean up.  I rarely buy more than 2 pieces of clothing at any store or website (except Asos lol) at even given time and usually never more than 5 - 7 from one store in an entire season (except Asos again LOL).  I shop a variety of places and love to mix and match. I would look at these places just like that, multiple places you can mix and match.  Also, some of these sites (and I think it's b/c of the markdown/budget aspect) don't showcase the clothing the best.  Don't automatically discount the item. I would encourage to imagine the item on yourself as opposed to how it's being modeled. 

Sidenote: I didn't mention Forever21 for a couple of reasons. The first is that most people know about them.  The second is that they are jr plus sizes that run small and a lot of people get sized out.  I know there are a lot of pieces that I can't wear due to cut and I didn't want to state the obvious.  

Confidence: Getting it & Keeping it

Photo Credit: Lydia Hudgens | Outfit details here.

This blog is probably long overdue, but I wanted to give some of my confidence tips.  

Stake your confidence in your abilities rather than genetics:  One of the biggest contributing factors to my confidence is my foundation.  When I was child, I never cared to be beautiful.  Beauty seemed unearned and just something you happen by on genetics or what someone else thought of you.  I wanted to be smart, athletic, accomplished, and independent...and I was/am.  I still go to batting cages and hit 80mph pitches just to make sure I can still do it, get a high off of running a successful business (my first and only business), and I ambitiously collect achievements.  Even though you can say that I'm in the business of beauty, my confidence is not my face, but the ability to put together an outfit and help other people do the same. I say all of that to say is be proud of what you can do and what you do for others.  External beauty will fade, but your accomplishments and abilities won't. You earned them.

I think, therefore I am:  Beauty is subjective and if you ask a different person about another person's beauty you'll get a different answer every time. The only assessment that matters is your own. I know this can be easier said than done.  So much of confidence is the willingness to believe in your own beauty, own it, and claim it.   Getting over your own mind.  As a blogger, I get attacked on so many aspect of my being every day, but I know who I am.  Someone else's opinion won't formulate who I am now or who I will be in the future.  I have already decided that I am intelligent, athletic, smart, and beautiful.  

Positivity breeds positivity:  My mom would tell me that negativity breeds negativity.  Surround yourself with people that are doing something with their lives and it pushes you to do the same.  These people will celebrate your victories and help you work through issues critically, but what they won't put you down or continuously put others down.  The friends and family that influence your life should treat you in a positive way. If they aren't, there are a couple of options.  If you do have some people in your circle that don't treat you in a positive way have a conversation with them. Tell them how you feel and give them a chance to do better.  If they still choose not to, then you can choose not to hang around them. 

Be a confidence booster for others:  I think you attract what you give out in this life. It's hard to explain, but making another person feel good by giving them an authentic compliment makes me feel more confident.  It's hard to explain, but just try it.  It makes me smile and feel good about myself and my own life's mission. 

Envy is a terrible drug:  I do put partial blame the media for this, but we must be proactive in our own self-preservation and self-worth.  So if you watch certain television shows make you feel inadequate, then don't watch them.  If that Instagram account of the girl with the perfect body that makes you hate your body, then unfollow.   When you have solidified your own confidence then feel free to re-visit those media channels.  You will learn that you can appreciate someone else's beauty without feelings of inadequacy once you love yourself. 

On a final note, I can give you tips on confidence, but at the end of the day it's you who has the ultimate say on how you feel about yourself.  It can be that simple or that hard.  It's truly up to you and if you don't get it anywhere else, I want you to know that you are enough. 

Sidenote:  Kind of off the subject, but on the subject, but I wanted to let y'all know about this because I am horrible about announcing stuff. LOL.  But for your bloggers or aspiring bloggers, I will be speaker/camp counselor at the Texas Style Council held in Austin, Texas.   I will be there as a blogger mentor, bunk captain (LOL) and I even have a break out session.  I attended their first event when I still lived in Texas and had a nice time and got to connect with some amazing people. This is actually the last event, so it's cool that I am getting to host a class at the last one.  It's being held the weekend of March 20 - 22.  Although, I am happy to help any blogger, it would be cool to be able to have some plus blogger bunkmates since it's my area of expertise. Find the information here. Hope to see you there.